Firstly what I realised is that over the last 5 years, whilst focusing all of my energy into a relationship, I missed out on all of the things that my family do, that have always made Christmas so great. My mum was really excited, definitely more so than me, and she woke me up at 8.30. Then we opened presents. We always wait and open them all together, each doing a present at a time. My mums partners sister always gets someone something that's so obscure we can't work out what it is, without fail every year, which adds to the entertainment. There's also always the relative who makes a present almost unopenable by use of copious amounts of Sellotape. Then the cooking starts, and of course the drinking (something I couldn't partake in this year due to driving!). Paul always tries to cook something obscure with varying degrees of success, and this year didn't disappoint with a sausagemeat and stuffing concoction wrapped in bacon which was actually pretty good. We usually have some relatives stop by. It's so nice to see people who you don't see regularly and just catch up on their lives, how things are going. It makes the family feel closer, something that my family in particular is bad at. Mid morning we usually collect my grandmother, she's in her eighties now and in a nursing home, she also has an almost child-like persona, of which an element of which is that she gets really excited about Christmas. Every year without fail she'll come through the door and proclaim she's home, which is lovely. Then, with the mandatory cup if tea in hand, she'll demand her presents, and it's so nice to see how excited she gets. Then we all have dinner together, eat turkey and pull crackers. My nan always insists on watching the queen at 3, and I think this was the first year that she actually managed to stay awake for it. Then we take her back, and she'll join the others, who have returned or didn't get to spend Christmas with their families this year, and we head home and spend a chilled evening watching Christmas TV.
This year I didn't spend my Christmas afternoon with a boyfriend, but I have so many other memories that I will cherish. Watching toy story with my parents, making me incredibly nostalgic for my childhood, sitting in front if the wood-burning fire, holding my 81 year old grandmothers hand whilst she tells me she loves me, joking about needing L plates whilst crashing a wheelchair, attempting to get said wheelchair into a small hatchback, with little success, laughing in the kitchen about cooking techniques and my hidden chocolate. This year also bought something new, not wanting to spend Christmas dwelling over the past, I drove to Wales, spending two and a half hours alone in the car, just so I could spend a few hours with two of the most special little men in my life. They caught me when I pulled up and ran to the car, immediately begin searching for presents, and help me into the house. We opened presents together, and they began fighting the cuddly smurfs I got them. I got to read them a story, of which I laughed far too much at for a children's book! And put them to bed. However this ended abruptly. Christmas 2013 will now always be the year that Ben fell out of his bunk bed and broke his wrist. But what is Christmas without a little bit of drama?
This year I'm feeling incredibly thankful for what I have, and not dwelling over what I don't have anymore. If I'd known this beforehand, I would have probably been excited!
Happy Christmas!
XOX
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