Stepping Up a Gear

Earlier this month, I spent an entire day looking around London universities for a range of either medicine or post-graduate opportunities. Now I know this blog is about getting into medical school, which I'm still 100% on, but I'm also realistic about the chances of me getting into medicine. I know that I can be an amazing applicant and still not get in. I can have the right academic performance, scores on the admissions exams and a great range of work experience and still not be selected for interview. For those of you who aren't medical applicants, it's just that competitive as a subject, particularly for graduate entry. Therefore I have a plan B and this is it: I'm going to apply for some masters degrees alongside my medical school application, mostly in Cardiovascular science, but also some in Biomedical science with a significant amount of cardiovascular in it's content. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this previously, but I want to eventually be a cardiologist. Therefore if I don't get into medicine this year, then I'll try again next year, hopefully with a masters behind me. Preparations are well on the way. I have my UKCAT exam booked for the beginning of next month. I'm halfway through submitting my UCAS application and I've decided on the universities I want to apply to. I'm continuing my long-term work experience and organising more also. I'm becoming a society member at university next year, which will boost my application and give me some great experience. On top of all this, at the end of next week I'll be jetting off to Thailand! I'm going to be working on a GapMedics placement in Chiang Mai for 2 weeks, which I'm incredibly excited about, and I'm looking forward to blogging about all my experiences out there!!

Things are progressing rapidly now :)

XOX

Result!

This may be counter-productive to my last post, but apparently going a little crazy during exams led to some of the best results I've had since starting uni. I averaged a really decent first in my June exams, securing the 2:1 grade I've been grasping hold of all year. Am I a little disappointed I didn't get a first this year? Perhaps, but I'm so happy with the grade I did get. Mostly because it's the grade medical schools require their applicants to get. It also takes the pressure off of next year. To get a 2:1 next year, I'd need a perfectly acheivable high 2:2. To get a first next year, I need to exceed the border for a first by about 1%. I'm feeling more optimistic now than I have for a while about my chances of getting into medicine, and with currently being in Spain, lifes looking pretty sweet ATM! 

Te next steps are to book my trip to Thailand, working in an actual hospital will be phenominal! And to book and prepare for the UKCAT exam. It's frightening, and there's no guarantee that I'll get in, but I'm excited for the ride!

Wish me luck!

XOX

How To Survive Exams Without Going Crazy

I'm really not a great person to write a blog entitled this, but here goes. As many of you know, I recently did a set of exams for the end of my second year at uni, and if my recent blog posts are anything to go by, I really didn't handle it that well. I contemplated dropping out. I'm not going to do this, but it was literally just because I was so stressed, and who wants to live their life constantly worrying that they're not going to pass the next 'barrier'. I also contemplated taking a little trip, to the point where I was procrastinating by looking at the cost of flights and ferries, just like Ireland or Mainland Europe, just somewhere away from here. I had about 4-5 completely sleepless nights, a couple of moments in which I seriously considered quitting my job and had 1 impromptu trip back to Reading, in which I basically sat alone, didn't sleep at all and thought about everything. I actually managed to complete my exams, and to a level I was relatively happy with, which in itself is nothing short of a miracle. But it was my actions after I finished my exams which were at least equally as bad. I'm not going to go into details on this, but I got told on a couple of occasions that I was 'acting like a crazy person.'  This in itself is really not good, and it's not really a great way to blow of steam after a large amount of stress.

I think it's pretty safe to say I'm back to normal now, but I really didn't feel like myself for a while. So here's my guide on how not to act like a crazy person during exams!

1. Actually start preparation early, get organised, and manage everything in small chunks. If I feel I'm unprepared for an exam, I stress about it so much more. 
2. Don't give up eating. This really isn't wise in any situation, but around exams? How much information can you really take in if all you can think about is how sick you feel because you haven't eaten in 36 hours. 
3. Don't spend 13 hours a day in the library. Just because it's exam time, it doesn't mean that you have to spend every waking moment studying. Of course it's never great to procrastinate or anything, but there's only a certain amount that a person can take in in one day. You can be so much more productive if you're actually relaxed. 
4. Don't give up sleep. Are you really going to do your best work in exams if you're falling asleep at the desk? No. 
5. Don't see exams as the enemy. It's not a barrier, another hurdle to fall at, but an opportunity to demonstrate how much you do actually know. 
6. Remember: exams constitute around 4 weeks of the year, of course it's important to work all year through, but the actual exam process is such a small part. It's nothing to stress over!

The most important lesson I've learnt from this exam period is not to blow out ridiculously afterwards. It's good to celebrate but not get to the point 2 weeks later, where you've had 5 hangovers, apologized for your behaviour about 50 times, have run completely out of money, have several texts you shouldn't have sent, a couple of occasion of wondering if/why you still have friends and can't stand the sight of alcohol.

And maybe, just maybe, you might be able to maintain your sanity during exam time!

XOX

Something New

Sometimes I feel like that I go through life with my finger on a button marked 'self-destruct', I don't know if this is normal, but I feel like this pretty regularly. 

Now I have this life, and I've tried so hard to get to where I am today, I tackled my a levels, the first few years of my degree, I've worked through personal barriers and I've worked really hard to make a three year, relatively easy relationship become a four year relationship whilst also making it long distance. I've built friendships, a life for myself. So why is it that the only thing keeping me from pressing this metaphorical button is fear?

I feel like i have the power to destroy everything if i desired. Like when you implode a building marked for demolition. Theoretically I could do it, leave everything behind, quit my job, find someone to take my lease, quit my course and just take off. It wouldn't be a problem financially. I could get a tank of fuel and a ferry ticket, drive to the continent, probably Paris, something I've always wanted to do anyway. Travel and live off of my savings. Until I found a job that is, something that wouldn't require sweat and tears, and working so hard that I border on insanity, without even knowing if it would get me anywhere. Maybe I'd dye my hair,  take up a new hobby. Maybe I'd read the books growing dusty in a pile in my room, watch the films that I've always wanted to see but not got round to. Maybe I could learn to sing, then I could join a band. Or even just have the time to go to more gigs, the underground metal scene perhaps? Although my taste is becoming progressively more indie recently. 

I would struggle however, to leave behind people, the friends I've made, particularly over the last few years, and when I think of this I don't at all understand why I feel like this. Plus, I love everything medical, I couldn't imagine giving up my dream to have a career in it. I also love Brighton. I'm lucky to live in what is probably one of my favourite cities in the uk, so much that I don't want to leave it when I graduate. 

I've never been one for big change, especially before I came here. The idea of things not staying exactly as they did before used to petrify me, but actually I think coming here has made me see that change isn't always that bad. Change drives progress. 

I think it stems down to the fact that somewhere in my life I'm dissatisfied. I'm not sure which aspect it is but it's increasingly becoming an issue. Theoretically, life is great, but I can't quite shake this feeling. I'm craving something new, but that doesn't mean that everything has to be new. I just need to work this out for myself.

I'm not that great at French anyway....

XOX

A Blog About Being Uninspired

I'm so uninspired I cant even think of a better title for this blog.

At the moment I'm approaching exam period, so basically I've been spending pretty much every waking hour at uni, more specifically in the library (seriously I'm here right now if you want to check it up!) this means that I haven't had much time to blog, or in fact do much of anything except for sleep and the 12 hours a week I give to Asda! 

But going back to basics with my blog: getting into medical school. I desperately need a 2:1 in this year to be considered for a medical school, and although so far this year I've managed to sustain this despite one particular questionable exam result in January. This means, although progress has been good so far this year, I desperately need to do well in these exams.

More recently I've been contemplating if my life would be easier if I just left after this degree and got a related job to do with my current degree. I haven't been feeling incredibly passionate about medicine recently, in fact I haven't been feeling particularly passionate about anything. Talking to someone this morning they said 'I've done exams every year for the last 10 years, I've had enough' and I can completely relate, exams are tough and the stress gets to me (elevated cortisol levels -yeah!) it's the reason I actually started this blog, as a way to cope when things get a little bit too much.

But let's fast forward to this afternoon.

I got some coursework grades back today, and I got a 2:1, which ordinarily I'd be absolutely fine with, but it was frustrating because I lost 20% of the marks through a late submission of the first part of it. A part that if I'd actually submitted on time would have given me somewhere in the region of 85% for that piece of coursework. And the worst bit is that it's my own fault, it came about on a day in which I had three deadlines, and I was pretty stressed, and I just confused the time with another piece. What makes it even more frustrating is that I'd actually completed the coursework 5 days before, but hadn't gotten around to submitting. 

Then I got in the car and cried, not because of the coursework as such, but just that I'm so sick of trying so hard and not getting very far with it, I'm working myself to the ground , and achieving what feels like so little. And it was mostly because the only career path thative ever been passionate about is being a doctor, and I'm finding it difficult. But I think it's okay that I find it hard, because it makes me strive to want to do better, improve myself. My lecturer said to me today that my work is really good, and I'm looking at still getting a really decent pass despite the coursework fiasco, and it feels nice that the quality of my work is actually recognised. But the best thing that has come out of breaking down a little bit today is that I've realised how badly I actually want this, how much I love this. 

So I'm going to finish this blog, and I'm going to revise metabolic disorders, because it's part of what I need to do to get to where I want to be. Wish me luck!

XOX

5 Response Evoking Books

Yesterday I bought myself 6 books as a stack of reading material to a) Read over summer and B) keep me sane in exam period whilst keeping me away from sitcoms (far to addictive, not recommended if you actually have things to do!) So I've comprised a list of books that I've read recently that have left me feeling sad/happy/made me laugh/angry and, as the title suggests, have evoked a response so here goes!

1. 'The Fault In Our Stars' by John Green

So this book is written from the perspective of a teenage cancer patient, and I think any book worth reading should stir up emotions in you. This book, whilst making me laugh throughout, left me crying (the only moment in which I actually put this book down). The main idea in this book is that it's a tragic love story but the outcome of this wasn't the thing that upset me. I was upset for the parents in the book. The parents of the main character. Yes. The idea that the main characters mother felt she wouldn't be a mother anymore after her daughter had passed is in itself heart-wrenching. However it was also discussions between the main characters about the outcome of the mother in fictional book 'An Imperial Affliction'. The thought that the mother in the book wouldn't want to be away from where her daughter was. This in itself made me think of my own mother, and how she'd find it very difficult to be away from the last place her daughter was when she was alive, it's like grasping on desperately to something, that realistically   went a long time ago, but this is still better than the feeling of guilt that comes from moving on and leaving that person behind. And I'm not a mother, so I can't comprehend this exactly, but I can feel something akin through having someone, perhaps just as close, but in a very different way. And this is when I had to put the book down. 

2. 'The Immortal life of Henrietta Lacks' by Rebecca Skloot 

Perhaps not 'recent' but I read this book in the summer before my degree. As a biomedical scientist, you can purchase cells from suppliers with a view to using them for research. HeLa is one of them (the letters coming from the name of the donor). Medical research is critical, without it, we couldn't understand the mechanisms of disease, let alone develop potential treatments. We couldn't even understand the in-depth detail of our normal pathology. But what medical research can fail to understand is that the cells they're manipulating actually came from a person, with a family and everything. And this is the topic of this book. It tackles a lot: Medicine, research, family dynamics, cancer, mental illness, civil rights, racism and how civilisation changes through history, which can't help but make you empathetic to the family involved, as well as anger for the civil injustice underlying the story. True story as well, definitely worth a read. 

3. 'Me Before You' by JoJo Moyes

I was describing this book the other day, which I achieved with the line: "You think it's all going to end happily, then BAM!" 

I think I'll go into a bit more depth here:  This is a love story. But not a conventional one. I think one of the main reasons why I really liked this book is the fact that it doesn't deal with the superficial. Taking on issues like euthanasia is brave, but I think the author tackled it well in this book. It also gives an insight into the difficulties of everyday life when you're living with a disability. This book made me mentally want to scream at it the whole way through, but I really enjoyed it! Recommended. 

4. 'The Lovely Bones' by Alice Sebold

I could never get tired of this book, it's one of my favourites. Basically I picked up this book when I wanted to watch the film, which looked really good. But I definitely agree that the book is always so much better than the film, on anything. (Although the film in this case does do the book justice, some are terrible!) I think it's because when you read a book, a lot of what the characters might look like, or the places visited, whereas a film leaves very little to the imagination. The way that death is portrayed in this film is beautiful, and although the book is devastating throughout, the unfolding of the story kept me gripped throughout. One of those books you can definitely read over and over. 

5. 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time' by Mark Haddon

This has to be the most well written book I've ever read, and just so happens to be the only book on my list that doesn't directly deal with death! The sensitive portrayal of autism in this book I found to be so educational, and yet such a gripping perspective to read from. Add in to this mystery and unexpected plot twists and you find yourself with a really great read. You can't help but feel for the main character in the book, and you never get bored. 

Sorry this is belated! Only a day out, not too bad ;)

XOX

Running.

We're getting into Spring now, the Brighton marathon was last weekend, and people are trying to get fit. This year this includes me. So I took up running on Tuesday, and now I've just completed my third run therefore this calls for another list!

10 Things I've Learnt In My First Week Of Running

• It's never a good idea to run in the dark on an unlit road

So I had the brilliant idea of running down this country road on the outskirts of Brighton, Nature  - check, Beautiful views - check, the ability to see them all- Not so much. 

• People in cars give you strange look

It seems people who aren't jogging, seem to find it absurd that you are, I got laughed at today, just beautiful. 

• You get everywhere surprisingly quickly

10 minutes to the seafront? Yes please! It would save so much time if you were actually trying to get somewhere!

• Running on grass hurts...a lot

Not my finest idea, it's not so much that it's grass but just how uneven it is. Trainers aren't exactly the most supportive footwear, hello sore ankles! 

• It's not a good idea to squirt yourself with water when you're wearing headphones

I'll test the extent of the damage tomorrow, but electricals and water really don't mix!

• Traffic lights become one of your favourite things

"Turn Red! Please turn Red! Any excuse to stop! Please!!!!!"

• Running downhill is so much easier than anything else

Running on flat- not so much, I expected this to be more effort but I don't think I realised the actual extent! 

• Running in trainers is so much easier than running in vans

Trainers make me feel like I'm bouncing, Vans don't so much. Plus it means that I can keep my vans pretty, so it's a win-win situation. 

• Lycra is the most comfortable thing in the world

Shops sell sports EVERYTHING. I bought some sports socks the other day- like a cushion that clings to my feet, amazing. 

• It's surprising how far you actually get

Everyday I manage to go further, not bad for the girl who couldn't even run for the bus!!

In all seriousness, running, or any exercise decreases the risk of cardiovascular disease, obesity. It boosts your metabolism and the effects endure for 48 hours meaning just 3-4 times a week of exercise can make such a dramatic difference.

Motivation to get fit!!!

XOX