London Calling!

So I've done it, taken a massive step and done like so many others have attempted before me. I moved to the capital! So let me just explain exactly what I'm doing here because apparently I didn't realise this until I started explaining my decisions to people who didn't know what was going on with me.

I've decided to undertake a masters in Cardiovascular Research at King's College London. In the recent QS rankings it ranked an extremely impressive number 16 worldwide, with only 5 other UK institutions beating it. this is phenomenal, so I guess one of the primary reasons that I'm here is to gain a world class education. Secondly, King's is excellent for Cardiovascular research, having earned an award from the BHF for research excellence, being one of only 2 universities to do so. I'm absolutely fascinated by the cardiovascular system, and the opportunity to be able to study it intricately whilst developing my practical skills, which - lets face it, are poor, if being described optimistically, was too good to pass up. This is going to be really beneficial for me for a number of reasons. I could go into medical research... and this degree would equip me to do so. Or if i decide that I actually want to pursue medicine again, this could help me to become a researching consultant specialising in Cardiology, both of which would be a pretty amazing job! Right now I'm not sure if I want to apply for medicine again. I'd love to study it, but the idea of 4 years more studying is a little daunting, so next year I'm going to take some time out and decide for certain if this is what I want to do. And if it still is after pursuing the over options available to me, then I will throw myself whole heartedly into it!

As for London - London is big and unfriendly and scary, but as many existential crises I've had since I've been here (Yes - plural!) I can walk through this city now and get excited about what it has to offer. I can find museums I want to go to with my housemates, or find lots of quirky, very London-esque restaurants to take my significant over too, and nice compact metropolitan areas perfect for taking friends from outside of the city. This is city is going to take hold of me and I think by the end of this year I'll feel like a brash 'typical Londoner' I'm just hoping I don't lose the friendly parts of me that have developed from being a from a large town!

Here's to new adventures!

XOX

Choosing Your Adventures

Do you ever feel the need to just take off? I mean I felt this in second year, and I was determined that the reasoning for this was to escape. I was stressed about exams, my job. The relationship I had at the time was pretty bad at this point and I was finding it hard to cope. This feeling didn't really go away until the summer afterwards, and I thought it was just that I was less stressed, but now looking back at it I think it was because I went to Thailand. This was probably one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had. But now, exactly one year on, I'm feeling this itch again.

It's started by feeling dissatisfied. I'm starting my masters in a couple of weeks and the whole process of organising it has been so stressful. On top of this, actually studying my masters is going to be just as stressful. I've been feeling like I don't want to do anything, and the feeling of being so disinterested in everything has been pretty horrendous. I mean I have everything I thought I wanted, so what is wrong with me? I want to travel again. This time closer to home however. I want to travel around Europe - Barcelona, Berlin, Italy, Prague, Russia, Croatia, Belgium, Amsterdam. You name it, I probably would rather be there than anywhere in the UK at the moment. I even kind of want to do it alone again too. There's something so liberating about travelling alone, meeting people you're probably not going to talk to again, having completely new and amazing experiences, and they're yours. I'm dreaming about this and it's gotten to the point in which going to London, something I always said I wanted to do, is leaving me feeling trapped. I know I'm being ridiculous, but I think this is part of who I am. I want to explore everywhere, and the fact that I cannot do any more for over a year is making me feel pretty bad.

Again though, London will be an adventure, and I'm feeling anxious about it, but I think this might be a good kind of anxious. It's a new chapter and a once in a lifetime experience. So I should be more excited right?

I'm hoping this will change, I'll probably be there in a weeks time!

Here's to experiences!

XOX

Update: March 2014

I haven't blogged for a while, so here's just a short update on how I've been. A good starting place would be to discuss how I got on at the selection centre at Warwick. Well this, despite being nothing at alike I'd imagined, actually wasn't too bad. It seemed like a mix of my Imperial interview, my 'Asda Magic' session and an exam all rolled into one. This sounds absolutely horrendous, but I actually relaxed quite a lot during the session and I think this was a result of doing it as a group. It was interesting to see other prospective medical students and realise that, very much like myself, they haven't actually got it all together and have similar concerns to myself. We're basically all trying our hardest and hoping that somewhere likes us enough to offer us a place. Which is exactly how it works when you go for an insanely competitive course. My interview was for both Warwick and Barts, but I absolutely loved Warwick university. It's a campus, something I completely despised the idea of when I came to Brighton, but seems much more appealing now. I love living in the middle of a city, and I know that I'd absolutely love living in London too, but something appeals about the sense of community there. I guess we'll see if I get an offer!

I think I blogged a lot at the end of last year about how unhappy I was as well. I think it's safe to say that things have changed here, for the better. I promised myself that 2014 was going to be the year that I would be happy, and despite a slightly rocky start, being insanely busy and recovering from the carnage that was 2013, we're a quarter of the way through and I'm  happier than I've been in a really long time, meaning I'm more optimistic and having a much more positive outlook on things. I've stressed about exams of course, and the future, but I feel so much more myself. I'm doing things that I actually just forgot that I do when I'm happy. Like singing around the house (not just in the shower), humming as I cook, smiling at strangers in the street and dancing around the kitchen (you get the idea!). I can actually honestly say I'm content, it's been a while.

Finally I finished my first semester of my final year, and despite not doing quite as well as I'd hoped, I've done okay. My exams were okay. In comparision to the average, I've done pretty damn well, but semester one exams really aren't my best part, so I'm glad my courseworks this year have been pretty good as well. I'm averaging a first overall so I'm off to a great start to try and get my 2:1 at the end of it. But with 3 deadlines in the next few weeks I'm definitely feeling the pressure! It's slightly scary to think in 3 months time I'll be done.

Wish me luck!

XOX

The End of The First Round: Shortlist to Interview

For the universities I've applied for at least, shortlisting for interview is complete. I think it's good to reflect back on the process and learn from what has gone well and what hasn't.

Firstly, I think it's okay to be immensely proud of myself in surviving this stage. So many people, some amazing applicants fall at this hurdle, and I was almost convinced that I would be one of them, so now I would be picking up the pieces and prepping myself for a 2015 entry application cycle. I'm not at this stage yet.

So far I've had 1 rejection, from King's College, London. If I'm completely honest with myself, this was one of my favourites, so I was a little bit gutted to hear this (you can read about this in my post: 'Rejection'). But they were very clear with me, so I completely understand their reasoning. My UKCAT wasn't quite high enough, so I didn't get in based on my mini-panic attack in the exam, causing me to screw up my quantitative reasoning section and miss out 13 questions. But these things happen, and despite this, I'm still doing well.

I had an interview in November at Imperial College, London. I love Imperial as a university, and it's always been one of my favourites. The university has such good standing, and the course looks absolutely fantastic, and completely in tune with my method of learning. The interview itself was strange, and looking back at it now, I wasn't entirely prepared, which is majorly because I didn't really know what to expect. I think some questions I answered really well, others I got flustered and could have answered much better (the kind of answers you consider half an hour later whilst sitting on the tube!). So I guess my standing in comparison to the other applicants will determine if I get made an offer of a place. I should find this out within the next month, which is both incredibly frightening, but also exciting.

Last week, I got an email notifying me I had been shortlisted for interview for the graduate scheme at the university of Warwick. Warwick also looks absolutely amazing, the campus looks so pretty, and the fact that the scheme is entirely for graduates is really appealing. The selection process is a selection day, completely opposite to my experience at Imperial, however I'm hoping the competitive side of me will come out enough for me to appear charismatic, without seeming too overbearing. I have longer to prepare, therefore after my exam, I'll have time to properly research the process and mentally prepare myself for the process, to give myself the best possible chance.

So the day I found this out was absolutely amazing, so to add to my excitement, I got an email from Barts and the London, informing me that they were also considering my application, based on my performance at the selection centre at Warwick. This is amazing. For those who know the medical school selection procedure, Barts and Warwick work together to select candidates to offer places to, however, you only get considered by both, if you are shortlisted by both.

From going from being convinced that I wasn't good enough, 3 of the best universities, and 75% of my choices, have disagreed with me enough to want to take me further. This is really exciting.

The next stage is the interview stage. I'll keep you updated as I go along, and hopefully I'll make it past this stage!

XOX

Interview Day: Highlights

Today wasn’t quite a normal Wednesday, I got up and put on a suit to start, which is completely unusual, I've never worn a suit before and although this one came with a pencil skirt it still counts! The day started well – I realised I couldn’t walk in the shoes that I’d bought for my interview, and had to stagger down Elm Grove in my teeny-tiny heels, wishing with each step that I was wearing my vans, even to the extent where I was staring at someone’s feet for a while with complete shoe envy until I realised what I was doing. I got really strange stares walking through Brighton in a suit at 10am, particularly through a muddy park (really didn’t think this through!) and I had (still have) my trademark fringe scraped back in order to look a little more professional, and although it’s nice to not have to scrape my hair out of my eyes at every given opportunity, I feel self –conscious. I got to London at around 11.30am. This was over 2 hours before my interview therefore, resisting the urge to pay a visit to the science museum, I went to Starbucks to do some last minute research. All of which was pretty useless. I was so nervous, I actually forgot to remove my coat. Literally, I just took my scarf off then stopped. I think I sat correctly, I remember giving it thought when I sat down. My interview lasted 25 minutes, 5 minutes over the allocated time, so I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not and it was in front of a panel of four. Now the most useful preparation I did for the interview was preparing my technique, the questions asked were pretty okay, nowhere near as bad as some of the ones I prepared for. I held my wrist, as on the advice of the careers advisor, to slow my pulse rate and calm my nerves. Whilst saying the questions were okay, I unravelled a little on the ethics question. Of course coming out of the interview, my brain’s kicked in and I now know exactly what I should have said, but obviously I can’t do anything about it now. I think I’ve had this at every single job interview, so I really shouldn’t expect this one to be any different in that aspect. I spoke fast as well, I couldn’t help it, not super-speed, but I was aware of it. At least I managed to keep it flowing, I didn’t stop after every few words, which I was also extremely conscious of.

All in all the experience wasn’t amazing, I’m not coming out of it thinking I definitely have the place, but it also wasn’t bad, & I don’t think I screwed it up by any means. It was also nowhere near as bad as I was expecting from a medical school interview, which is positive.  The only major thing that has come out of this experience so far is the confirmation that I really, really want this.

So what am I doing right now? I’m sat on a bench in Hyde Park, typing away, because they bought up my blog in the interview, and I didn’t want to neglect it on a day as momentous as today. Plus I’ve never actually been to Hyde Park before, I completely forgot about winter wonderland being here, but aside from that being absolutely massive, there’s still a large amount of open parkland here too, it’s beautiful. I really love London. I can picture myself here, I can picture myself being so happy here.

So I need to head back to Brighton and finish off my literature review for my project, it’s just nice to have the opportunity to remember exactly what I’m working so hard for.

I’ll keep you updated, no matter what the outcome is,

XOX