Graduated!!

3 days ago I had my (first) graduation ceremony, Check it out :D

To be able to say that I have a degree in Biomedical Science, a good degree at that, opens up so many doors! I'd be lying if I said that I'm not a little disappointed that I won't be starting medicine this year, but I'm excited for what the future brings. I'll be starting my MSc in Cardiovascular Research in a little under 2 months time, and this will help with really preparing me for both if I decide not to pursue medicine at a later date and embarked on a career in medical research, and if I do decide to pursue medicine, it will be an excellent tool to use in both following the specialism (cardiology) in which I would like to train, as well as equipping me with research skills, which I'm finding more and more I want to be a part of the career I'm involved in.

In terms of ambition, I've always been cautious, or as cautious as anyone wanting to pursue medicine can be! I've had my share of setbacks and disappointment, which has led me to not really expect too much of myself. I always kind of envisioned myself working quietly as a trained doctor but never really progressing. Now, I kind of want to be a consultant, dividing my time between working with patients and actively researching my field Maybe it's just a pipedream, but everyone needs an aim.

As for medicine 2015, I'm around 90% sure that I won't be reapplying this year. Partaking in a masters is costly, and I think it'll be beneficial for me to pay back some of that loan first before getting myself in even more debt with medicine! It'll give me time to decide with absolute certainty that this is what I want.

For now, Lots of work to do!

XOX

[Inability to come up with inventive new titles for blog posts so stole an old one]

Having a typical attack of insomnia and feeling horrendous today anyway so I might as well update on here.

So since I last left you I've completed my exams, and found out that I'm graduating with a 2:1 degree. I know this is an achievement, particularly in a subject like mine, but I can't help but feel slightly disappointed because a few differences and I could have walked away with a first. One of the hardest things to deal with in this case is that I can't do anything to change it now. All through my degree there was always another module, another exam, something that could give me the opportunity to make my grade higher, but now that's it. It's done. 

I've also made a decision concerning the next year of my life. I'm not reapplying to medicine this year. It's expensive, and failing having an expansive pit of money at my disposal, I can't really afford to do both that and a masters degree. I will be studying cardiovascular research at Kings College, with a view to hopefully getting myself a job afterwards, if only to earn some money before returning to be a student. This is going to be an entirely new challenge, and one I can't particularly bring myself to look forward to whilst I'm still tying off all the loose ends of my life here in Brighton but I think it'll be something really positive.

Anyway graduating next week, then moving back home for a while, which should prove interesting! 

To pressing forward! 

XOX

Reapplying to Medicine, Do or Don't

If I'm answering honestly, the answer I've been leaning towards most recently is the latter. It's not that I don't want to be a doctor anymore, I really do. But it's not the only thing that I want to do with my life. That's not in terms of a career, medicine I'm still entirely set on, if a career was all that I wanted my life to be about.

The reality I'm faced with now is that I'm 22, and the earliest that I could possibly do medicine if all went right is 23. Add on top of that 4 years of medical school and 2 foundation years, and suddenly I'm not trained until I'm in my late twenties. Whilst this is happening all of my friends are settling down, earning money, getting a mortgage and generally just starting their lives. It feels a lot like I would be postponing life in order to pursue something in which every stage is so challenging.

So this was my thought process until Tuesday. So why was Tuesday different? Well I went to the anatomy lab of the medical school, and that changed things. It served as a reminder of what I could have if I continued to work hard at it, if I continued to make sacrifices for it, and it's amazing. It's the only thing I've ever really wanted to do, and I know I can be introverted, but when I'm so passionate about something, I'd put my everything into it, which is why I'd make a good doctor. I'd put everything I am into it, all I would need is the opportunity.

So in honesty, I'm still torn. How do you choose between your career aims and the aims for your personal life? I always used to think everything was so black and white, either you wanted something or you didn't. But this is pretty speckled with areas of grey.

So my plan for now: work insanely hard for the next few weeks and then enjoy my summer. I've spent 3 years doing my undergraduate degree, and worked insanely hard, I need a break. After this, when I have to leave Brighton, I'm going to decide if I'm going to reapply to medicine next year ad put myself though the process again, or I'd change my aims and go for medical research - my second choice.

Wish me luck in obtaining clarity!!

XOX 

How to cope if you don't get into Medical School

I'm writing this blog now, and then I'll post it when I feel like I'm ready to talk about it to people. But I didn't get into med school this year. I know that it's insanely competitive, and I did really well to get to the interview stage, but it's still pretty gutting to get this far only to fall at the last hurdle (In terms of admissions anyway).

So what are my thoughts:

I think they're pretty normal things to think when you're in this situation!

1. 'Can I handle going through this kind of rejection again?' 
It's a massive thing when you aim for your dream only to get told that you can't do it right now, I mean it's really-soul destroying. Things in life don't always go the way you would have hoped for, and sometimes there are massive hurdles, disappointments and moments when you just want to give up, but I think this is part of what makes us human. The important thing is how you react to it. So the answer to the above question is yes. I can handle this. Why? Because I've already handled it before And it's for what I really want, and if I get there all of the disappointment, feeling rejected generally rubbish, and most importantly all of the hard work would have been so worth it. I think it's also important to learn from this situation. Work out the instances in which your application was weak, and improve it - get that extra work experience, improve those interview skills, completely destroy the UKCAT, whatever it takes.

2. 'Am I certain this is really what I want to do?'
Going through this kind of situation really separates applicants with this question. Is it what I want? If you're thinking 'oh well, I'll become a scientist, musician, counsellor, literary genius instead' without much thought or disappointment, then the answer is probably no, and to go and pursue another career path. But if you do what I did and stare at the final rejection email thinking 'but the only thing I want to do is this' then it's probably a good idea to persevere. If you think you'd be just as happy in another career path, that one would probably be easier to pursue!

3. 'What if everyone is disappointed in me?'
Let them be disappointed! The likelihood is that they won't be, medicine is an incredibly hard course to get onto, and many great doctors didn't get in on their first attempt. In all honestly, if you're good enough to even be considered as a potential medical student, then you've done pretty well for yourself.

4. 'What do I do now?'
Now the best situation would be to pursue something that would beef up your application next time around. My personal plan is to hopefully do a masters degree, explore an area of medicine that interests me and also continue setting up a life I could have if I theoretically never got into medicine. This would make me more favourable academically, as well as freeing me up some time to increase the amount of voluntary work on my personal statement which would be great. I think this is a really good plan, however it's not for everyone, so do what you need to do - get a job (medical or not, either can be used to increase skills you'd use as a doctor), go travelling - enriched life experiences look great on a personal statement, especially doing what I did and working in a hospital abroad. The experience is absolutely amazing and I would seriously recommend it to anyone. I went to Thailand with Gap Medics who were particularly good - I'll put a link at the end of this post.

The most important things I can leave you with is to stay positive but be realistic. This isn't a never, it's a not right now, people start medical school at such a variety of ages so not getting in one year isn't catastrophic. It's important to use it as an opportunity to improve yourself and your application for next time, rather than 'you're not good enough'. However it's also important to be prepared, the application process is a difficult start of a long and difficult journey, and it requires commitment and resilience, ironically qualities of good doctors.

Congratulations to everyone who got a place this year and good luck to those (re)applying next year!

XOX

Check them out!  http://www.gapmedics.co.uk/

The End of The First Round: Shortlist to Interview

For the universities I've applied for at least, shortlisting for interview is complete. I think it's good to reflect back on the process and learn from what has gone well and what hasn't.

Firstly, I think it's okay to be immensely proud of myself in surviving this stage. So many people, some amazing applicants fall at this hurdle, and I was almost convinced that I would be one of them, so now I would be picking up the pieces and prepping myself for a 2015 entry application cycle. I'm not at this stage yet.

So far I've had 1 rejection, from King's College, London. If I'm completely honest with myself, this was one of my favourites, so I was a little bit gutted to hear this (you can read about this in my post: 'Rejection'). But they were very clear with me, so I completely understand their reasoning. My UKCAT wasn't quite high enough, so I didn't get in based on my mini-panic attack in the exam, causing me to screw up my quantitative reasoning section and miss out 13 questions. But these things happen, and despite this, I'm still doing well.

I had an interview in November at Imperial College, London. I love Imperial as a university, and it's always been one of my favourites. The university has such good standing, and the course looks absolutely fantastic, and completely in tune with my method of learning. The interview itself was strange, and looking back at it now, I wasn't entirely prepared, which is majorly because I didn't really know what to expect. I think some questions I answered really well, others I got flustered and could have answered much better (the kind of answers you consider half an hour later whilst sitting on the tube!). So I guess my standing in comparison to the other applicants will determine if I get made an offer of a place. I should find this out within the next month, which is both incredibly frightening, but also exciting.

Last week, I got an email notifying me I had been shortlisted for interview for the graduate scheme at the university of Warwick. Warwick also looks absolutely amazing, the campus looks so pretty, and the fact that the scheme is entirely for graduates is really appealing. The selection process is a selection day, completely opposite to my experience at Imperial, however I'm hoping the competitive side of me will come out enough for me to appear charismatic, without seeming too overbearing. I have longer to prepare, therefore after my exam, I'll have time to properly research the process and mentally prepare myself for the process, to give myself the best possible chance.

So the day I found this out was absolutely amazing, so to add to my excitement, I got an email from Barts and the London, informing me that they were also considering my application, based on my performance at the selection centre at Warwick. This is amazing. For those who know the medical school selection procedure, Barts and Warwick work together to select candidates to offer places to, however, you only get considered by both, if you are shortlisted by both.

From going from being convinced that I wasn't good enough, 3 of the best universities, and 75% of my choices, have disagreed with me enough to want to take me further. This is really exciting.

The next stage is the interview stage. I'll keep you updated as I go along, and hopefully I'll make it past this stage!

XOX

New Year and New Beginnings - Reflections on a Not-so Terrible Year

I'm procrastinating from my cell pathology coursework by writing a blog, but seriously I wanted to round off this year. I've gone through the last couple of months thinking this is one of the worst years I've had so far, so in that instance, I'm going to be really glad to see the back of it. But whilst I'm being reflective, this year has bought so much and I've learnt so much from it. Firstly this year has bought the most changes since the year I left home and moved to Brighton, and although I've been so focused on the bad, this year has also given me some absolutely amazing experiences. The major one of these is travelling to the other side of the world entirely alone. I went to Thailand, a truly beautiful country, and definitely one of my favourite places, and working in a hospital, we'll I couldn't have done anything better. I saw surgery, travelled around, learnt about another culture. If it could change anything about the experience the only. Thing I could think of is that I would go for longer. I also went to Spain, and instead of just sun soaking, I got to interact with locals (in Spanish of course!) learn about the local area, and see it as more than just a place with a beach and heat, and actually appreciate how great Spanish culture is. 

This year is also the year that I really got to know myself and what I wanted out of life. Travelling bought ith it a lot of self discovery and widening by understanding of what I could do, as well as giving me a more realistic perspective of what I've got imprinted into me what I already wanted to do. But most of this actually came from realising what I don't want as well. I'm not content with just coasting through life and doing exactly what's expected of me, I want something extraordinary. I started this year volunteering in a project for homeless people, and this in itself was absolutely amazing. I then built on this with more volunteering experiences, working in a family centre and as a first aider for one of the most influential organisations in the world. With this I get to work with different people, experience scenarios that I couldn't have imagined, and spend my Saturday nights doing something other than vegetating in front of the television. I wouldn't have it any othe way. Anything I write down couldn't accurately describe the value of volunteering, therefore if you don't do it already, I'd encourage you to try! I ran 10 miles for charity back in October too, which was absolutely fantastic. If you know me, you'd know I'm not the most active person, therefore this was a massive achievement for me just to finish it, as well as raising over my target for the British Heart Foundation, an absolutely amazing charity. 

This year is the first year I've properly felt like an adult, my decisions (on the most part) have been much more responsible. I've also learnt that sometimes it's okay, and completely necessary to put myself first. I've also learnt it's important to take what you want out of life, there's absolutely no value in sitting on the sidelines, and I haven't regretted any of the decisions I made, to do something maybe slightly insane! (Particular reference to bungee jumping in Thailand!) I've gained so many amazing memories, things that I'll always treasure. 

In terms of new experiences, I applied for medicine this year. This is something I've been planning (and dreading!) for a long time, and I'm really excited I'm actually doing it, even if I don't get in, I'm going to learn so much from this experience, and in that scenario, I'll be bringing in next year in the same situation, hopefully whilst also studying for a masters degree, living in some city somewhere, of which I don't even know where it is yet.

This year has also been great in terms of friendships, not only have I met some amazing people and made some amazing new friends, I've also been able to deepen my friendships with some of the people I was already friends with. I've really learnt this year to appreciate the people around me and I feel really content in this aspect of my life, because I know whatever happens, they have my back. I'm really lucky to have all of them. 

So what does 2014 bring?

I'm starting 2014 in a great position, I live in what is the most beautiful city in the country, studying for a degree in a subject I'm passionate about. I'm starting this year single, for the first time really since 2007, but I'm surrounded by absolutely amazing people, so I'm not at all feeling lonely. I have a job, which allows me to talk to people and get money for it, and I'm still volunteering, meaning I get to continue building on these amazing experiences. This year I'll find out if I get into medicine, and graduate as a biomedical scientist. This year I'm going to move to a new city and gain new experiences, meet so many new people. I want to travel more this year, with going to Dublin at Easter, going away this summer seems a likely possibilty too. I'd like to finally get to Germany this year, visit the Christmas markets in Berlin (drink lots of jäger :D). I want to visit Iceland, see the northern lights, I wouldn't mind visiting Asia again either. I also want to sit on a beach somewhere abroad (pebbles in Brighton are great, but not quite the same thing!). I know that I probably won't do all of this, but I like the ability to dream about it. I'll also be doing the nuts challenge in March, an army style assault course, so will be training for this! 

Last year I made a list of resolutions to keep to, I'm not going to do the same this year because in reality I just have one:

This year I'm going to be happy.

(And maybe get fitter, take more photos and better control of my finances etc. :D)

I hope you all have a fantastic 2014, and bring 2013 out with a (metaphorical) bang!

XOX