London Calling!

So I've done it, taken a massive step and done like so many others have attempted before me. I moved to the capital! So let me just explain exactly what I'm doing here because apparently I didn't realise this until I started explaining my decisions to people who didn't know what was going on with me.

I've decided to undertake a masters in Cardiovascular Research at King's College London. In the recent QS rankings it ranked an extremely impressive number 16 worldwide, with only 5 other UK institutions beating it. this is phenomenal, so I guess one of the primary reasons that I'm here is to gain a world class education. Secondly, King's is excellent for Cardiovascular research, having earned an award from the BHF for research excellence, being one of only 2 universities to do so. I'm absolutely fascinated by the cardiovascular system, and the opportunity to be able to study it intricately whilst developing my practical skills, which - lets face it, are poor, if being described optimistically, was too good to pass up. This is going to be really beneficial for me for a number of reasons. I could go into medical research... and this degree would equip me to do so. Or if i decide that I actually want to pursue medicine again, this could help me to become a researching consultant specialising in Cardiology, both of which would be a pretty amazing job! Right now I'm not sure if I want to apply for medicine again. I'd love to study it, but the idea of 4 years more studying is a little daunting, so next year I'm going to take some time out and decide for certain if this is what I want to do. And if it still is after pursuing the over options available to me, then I will throw myself whole heartedly into it!

As for London - London is big and unfriendly and scary, but as many existential crises I've had since I've been here (Yes - plural!) I can walk through this city now and get excited about what it has to offer. I can find museums I want to go to with my housemates, or find lots of quirky, very London-esque restaurants to take my significant over too, and nice compact metropolitan areas perfect for taking friends from outside of the city. This is city is going to take hold of me and I think by the end of this year I'll feel like a brash 'typical Londoner' I'm just hoping I don't lose the friendly parts of me that have developed from being a from a large town!

Here's to new adventures!

XOX

Choosing Your Adventures

Do you ever feel the need to just take off? I mean I felt this in second year, and I was determined that the reasoning for this was to escape. I was stressed about exams, my job. The relationship I had at the time was pretty bad at this point and I was finding it hard to cope. This feeling didn't really go away until the summer afterwards, and I thought it was just that I was less stressed, but now looking back at it I think it was because I went to Thailand. This was probably one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had. But now, exactly one year on, I'm feeling this itch again.

It's started by feeling dissatisfied. I'm starting my masters in a couple of weeks and the whole process of organising it has been so stressful. On top of this, actually studying my masters is going to be just as stressful. I've been feeling like I don't want to do anything, and the feeling of being so disinterested in everything has been pretty horrendous. I mean I have everything I thought I wanted, so what is wrong with me? I want to travel again. This time closer to home however. I want to travel around Europe - Barcelona, Berlin, Italy, Prague, Russia, Croatia, Belgium, Amsterdam. You name it, I probably would rather be there than anywhere in the UK at the moment. I even kind of want to do it alone again too. There's something so liberating about travelling alone, meeting people you're probably not going to talk to again, having completely new and amazing experiences, and they're yours. I'm dreaming about this and it's gotten to the point in which going to London, something I always said I wanted to do, is leaving me feeling trapped. I know I'm being ridiculous, but I think this is part of who I am. I want to explore everywhere, and the fact that I cannot do any more for over a year is making me feel pretty bad.

Again though, London will be an adventure, and I'm feeling anxious about it, but I think this might be a good kind of anxious. It's a new chapter and a once in a lifetime experience. So I should be more excited right?

I'm hoping this will change, I'll probably be there in a weeks time!

Here's to experiences!

XOX

Graduated!!

3 days ago I had my (first) graduation ceremony, Check it out :D

To be able to say that I have a degree in Biomedical Science, a good degree at that, opens up so many doors! I'd be lying if I said that I'm not a little disappointed that I won't be starting medicine this year, but I'm excited for what the future brings. I'll be starting my MSc in Cardiovascular Research in a little under 2 months time, and this will help with really preparing me for both if I decide not to pursue medicine at a later date and embarked on a career in medical research, and if I do decide to pursue medicine, it will be an excellent tool to use in both following the specialism (cardiology) in which I would like to train, as well as equipping me with research skills, which I'm finding more and more I want to be a part of the career I'm involved in.

In terms of ambition, I've always been cautious, or as cautious as anyone wanting to pursue medicine can be! I've had my share of setbacks and disappointment, which has led me to not really expect too much of myself. I always kind of envisioned myself working quietly as a trained doctor but never really progressing. Now, I kind of want to be a consultant, dividing my time between working with patients and actively researching my field Maybe it's just a pipedream, but everyone needs an aim.

As for medicine 2015, I'm around 90% sure that I won't be reapplying this year. Partaking in a masters is costly, and I think it'll be beneficial for me to pay back some of that loan first before getting myself in even more debt with medicine! It'll give me time to decide with absolute certainty that this is what I want.

For now, Lots of work to do!

XOX

[Inability to come up with inventive new titles for blog posts so stole an old one]

Having a typical attack of insomnia and feeling horrendous today anyway so I might as well update on here.

So since I last left you I've completed my exams, and found out that I'm graduating with a 2:1 degree. I know this is an achievement, particularly in a subject like mine, but I can't help but feel slightly disappointed because a few differences and I could have walked away with a first. One of the hardest things to deal with in this case is that I can't do anything to change it now. All through my degree there was always another module, another exam, something that could give me the opportunity to make my grade higher, but now that's it. It's done. 

I've also made a decision concerning the next year of my life. I'm not reapplying to medicine this year. It's expensive, and failing having an expansive pit of money at my disposal, I can't really afford to do both that and a masters degree. I will be studying cardiovascular research at Kings College, with a view to hopefully getting myself a job afterwards, if only to earn some money before returning to be a student. This is going to be an entirely new challenge, and one I can't particularly bring myself to look forward to whilst I'm still tying off all the loose ends of my life here in Brighton but I think it'll be something really positive.

Anyway graduating next week, then moving back home for a while, which should prove interesting! 

To pressing forward! 

XOX