London Calling!

So I've done it, taken a massive step and done like so many others have attempted before me. I moved to the capital! So let me just explain exactly what I'm doing here because apparently I didn't realise this until I started explaining my decisions to people who didn't know what was going on with me.

I've decided to undertake a masters in Cardiovascular Research at King's College London. In the recent QS rankings it ranked an extremely impressive number 16 worldwide, with only 5 other UK institutions beating it. this is phenomenal, so I guess one of the primary reasons that I'm here is to gain a world class education. Secondly, King's is excellent for Cardiovascular research, having earned an award from the BHF for research excellence, being one of only 2 universities to do so. I'm absolutely fascinated by the cardiovascular system, and the opportunity to be able to study it intricately whilst developing my practical skills, which - lets face it, are poor, if being described optimistically, was too good to pass up. This is going to be really beneficial for me for a number of reasons. I could go into medical research... and this degree would equip me to do so. Or if i decide that I actually want to pursue medicine again, this could help me to become a researching consultant specialising in Cardiology, both of which would be a pretty amazing job! Right now I'm not sure if I want to apply for medicine again. I'd love to study it, but the idea of 4 years more studying is a little daunting, so next year I'm going to take some time out and decide for certain if this is what I want to do. And if it still is after pursuing the over options available to me, then I will throw myself whole heartedly into it!

As for London - London is big and unfriendly and scary, but as many existential crises I've had since I've been here (Yes - plural!) I can walk through this city now and get excited about what it has to offer. I can find museums I want to go to with my housemates, or find lots of quirky, very London-esque restaurants to take my significant over too, and nice compact metropolitan areas perfect for taking friends from outside of the city. This is city is going to take hold of me and I think by the end of this year I'll feel like a brash 'typical Londoner' I'm just hoping I don't lose the friendly parts of me that have developed from being a from a large town!

Here's to new adventures!

XOX

Choosing Your Adventures

Do you ever feel the need to just take off? I mean I felt this in second year, and I was determined that the reasoning for this was to escape. I was stressed about exams, my job. The relationship I had at the time was pretty bad at this point and I was finding it hard to cope. This feeling didn't really go away until the summer afterwards, and I thought it was just that I was less stressed, but now looking back at it I think it was because I went to Thailand. This was probably one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had. But now, exactly one year on, I'm feeling this itch again.

It's started by feeling dissatisfied. I'm starting my masters in a couple of weeks and the whole process of organising it has been so stressful. On top of this, actually studying my masters is going to be just as stressful. I've been feeling like I don't want to do anything, and the feeling of being so disinterested in everything has been pretty horrendous. I mean I have everything I thought I wanted, so what is wrong with me? I want to travel again. This time closer to home however. I want to travel around Europe - Barcelona, Berlin, Italy, Prague, Russia, Croatia, Belgium, Amsterdam. You name it, I probably would rather be there than anywhere in the UK at the moment. I even kind of want to do it alone again too. There's something so liberating about travelling alone, meeting people you're probably not going to talk to again, having completely new and amazing experiences, and they're yours. I'm dreaming about this and it's gotten to the point in which going to London, something I always said I wanted to do, is leaving me feeling trapped. I know I'm being ridiculous, but I think this is part of who I am. I want to explore everywhere, and the fact that I cannot do any more for over a year is making me feel pretty bad.

Again though, London will be an adventure, and I'm feeling anxious about it, but I think this might be a good kind of anxious. It's a new chapter and a once in a lifetime experience. So I should be more excited right?

I'm hoping this will change, I'll probably be there in a weeks time!

Here's to experiences!

XOX

Update: March 2014

I haven't blogged for a while, so here's just a short update on how I've been. A good starting place would be to discuss how I got on at the selection centre at Warwick. Well this, despite being nothing at alike I'd imagined, actually wasn't too bad. It seemed like a mix of my Imperial interview, my 'Asda Magic' session and an exam all rolled into one. This sounds absolutely horrendous, but I actually relaxed quite a lot during the session and I think this was a result of doing it as a group. It was interesting to see other prospective medical students and realise that, very much like myself, they haven't actually got it all together and have similar concerns to myself. We're basically all trying our hardest and hoping that somewhere likes us enough to offer us a place. Which is exactly how it works when you go for an insanely competitive course. My interview was for both Warwick and Barts, but I absolutely loved Warwick university. It's a campus, something I completely despised the idea of when I came to Brighton, but seems much more appealing now. I love living in the middle of a city, and I know that I'd absolutely love living in London too, but something appeals about the sense of community there. I guess we'll see if I get an offer!

I think I blogged a lot at the end of last year about how unhappy I was as well. I think it's safe to say that things have changed here, for the better. I promised myself that 2014 was going to be the year that I would be happy, and despite a slightly rocky start, being insanely busy and recovering from the carnage that was 2013, we're a quarter of the way through and I'm  happier than I've been in a really long time, meaning I'm more optimistic and having a much more positive outlook on things. I've stressed about exams of course, and the future, but I feel so much more myself. I'm doing things that I actually just forgot that I do when I'm happy. Like singing around the house (not just in the shower), humming as I cook, smiling at strangers in the street and dancing around the kitchen (you get the idea!). I can actually honestly say I'm content, it's been a while.

Finally I finished my first semester of my final year, and despite not doing quite as well as I'd hoped, I've done okay. My exams were okay. In comparision to the average, I've done pretty damn well, but semester one exams really aren't my best part, so I'm glad my courseworks this year have been pretty good as well. I'm averaging a first overall so I'm off to a great start to try and get my 2:1 at the end of it. But with 3 deadlines in the next few weeks I'm definitely feeling the pressure! It's slightly scary to think in 3 months time I'll be done.

Wish me luck!

XOX

New Year and New Beginnings - Reflections on a Not-so Terrible Year

I'm procrastinating from my cell pathology coursework by writing a blog, but seriously I wanted to round off this year. I've gone through the last couple of months thinking this is one of the worst years I've had so far, so in that instance, I'm going to be really glad to see the back of it. But whilst I'm being reflective, this year has bought so much and I've learnt so much from it. Firstly this year has bought the most changes since the year I left home and moved to Brighton, and although I've been so focused on the bad, this year has also given me some absolutely amazing experiences. The major one of these is travelling to the other side of the world entirely alone. I went to Thailand, a truly beautiful country, and definitely one of my favourite places, and working in a hospital, we'll I couldn't have done anything better. I saw surgery, travelled around, learnt about another culture. If it could change anything about the experience the only. Thing I could think of is that I would go for longer. I also went to Spain, and instead of just sun soaking, I got to interact with locals (in Spanish of course!) learn about the local area, and see it as more than just a place with a beach and heat, and actually appreciate how great Spanish culture is. 

This year is also the year that I really got to know myself and what I wanted out of life. Travelling bought ith it a lot of self discovery and widening by understanding of what I could do, as well as giving me a more realistic perspective of what I've got imprinted into me what I already wanted to do. But most of this actually came from realising what I don't want as well. I'm not content with just coasting through life and doing exactly what's expected of me, I want something extraordinary. I started this year volunteering in a project for homeless people, and this in itself was absolutely amazing. I then built on this with more volunteering experiences, working in a family centre and as a first aider for one of the most influential organisations in the world. With this I get to work with different people, experience scenarios that I couldn't have imagined, and spend my Saturday nights doing something other than vegetating in front of the television. I wouldn't have it any othe way. Anything I write down couldn't accurately describe the value of volunteering, therefore if you don't do it already, I'd encourage you to try! I ran 10 miles for charity back in October too, which was absolutely fantastic. If you know me, you'd know I'm not the most active person, therefore this was a massive achievement for me just to finish it, as well as raising over my target for the British Heart Foundation, an absolutely amazing charity. 

This year is the first year I've properly felt like an adult, my decisions (on the most part) have been much more responsible. I've also learnt that sometimes it's okay, and completely necessary to put myself first. I've also learnt it's important to take what you want out of life, there's absolutely no value in sitting on the sidelines, and I haven't regretted any of the decisions I made, to do something maybe slightly insane! (Particular reference to bungee jumping in Thailand!) I've gained so many amazing memories, things that I'll always treasure. 

In terms of new experiences, I applied for medicine this year. This is something I've been planning (and dreading!) for a long time, and I'm really excited I'm actually doing it, even if I don't get in, I'm going to learn so much from this experience, and in that scenario, I'll be bringing in next year in the same situation, hopefully whilst also studying for a masters degree, living in some city somewhere, of which I don't even know where it is yet.

This year has also been great in terms of friendships, not only have I met some amazing people and made some amazing new friends, I've also been able to deepen my friendships with some of the people I was already friends with. I've really learnt this year to appreciate the people around me and I feel really content in this aspect of my life, because I know whatever happens, they have my back. I'm really lucky to have all of them. 

So what does 2014 bring?

I'm starting 2014 in a great position, I live in what is the most beautiful city in the country, studying for a degree in a subject I'm passionate about. I'm starting this year single, for the first time really since 2007, but I'm surrounded by absolutely amazing people, so I'm not at all feeling lonely. I have a job, which allows me to talk to people and get money for it, and I'm still volunteering, meaning I get to continue building on these amazing experiences. This year I'll find out if I get into medicine, and graduate as a biomedical scientist. This year I'm going to move to a new city and gain new experiences, meet so many new people. I want to travel more this year, with going to Dublin at Easter, going away this summer seems a likely possibilty too. I'd like to finally get to Germany this year, visit the Christmas markets in Berlin (drink lots of jäger :D). I want to visit Iceland, see the northern lights, I wouldn't mind visiting Asia again either. I also want to sit on a beach somewhere abroad (pebbles in Brighton are great, but not quite the same thing!). I know that I probably won't do all of this, but I like the ability to dream about it. I'll also be doing the nuts challenge in March, an army style assault course, so will be training for this! 

Last year I made a list of resolutions to keep to, I'm not going to do the same this year because in reality I just have one:

This year I'm going to be happy.

(And maybe get fitter, take more photos and better control of my finances etc. :D)

I hope you all have a fantastic 2014, and bring 2013 out with a (metaphorical) bang!

XOX