When I was growing up, the whole notion if getting a job seemed so simple, you go to school and then one day you grow up and you choose a job which you do until you retire. It's just not that easy, It's so difficult applying for jobs that you know you can do if only someone somewhere would give you the opportunity. It makes me start to think, all of these people who achieve more than me, who get farther than me, they must have aspects which make them far more employable, even in this big city. I worked at Tesco for two years and finding that job took a year, and I told myself that it would never be as hard as this again, which if you think about it seems really naive. It's always going to be difficult, and the key is in perseverance even in spite of so much discouragement, but I think today I've realised, this is a big thing for me but it's so small in comparison to what God can do. Nothing is impossible for him and I have to trust him in that he will find me a place in time which will justify all of the waiting all of the disappointment. I've had so many rejections in which I've thought the position was ideal for me, and then realised later on that I would have struggled with either missing church, rushing away from uni or having such late finishing times that it would have meant being sleep deprived in my 9am lectures. This will happen for me in time, but for now I pray and I trust and I wait.
I think 'nothing is too big for God' has been the theme for my day. My boyfriend Adam came to visit this weekend, which was great. He came down because he wanted to visit the London to Brighton mini run which he's wanted to do since he got into mini's when he was like 17/18 and I think we used it as a bit of an excuse, because it's become so difficult to move from a relationship where we saw each other so much to a relationship where he's over 100 miles away back home and I'm here. Anyway we had an absolutely amazing weekend but it gave little time for revision which has dominated almost every waking moment for the last few weeks so when he left this afternoon, I panicked. I decided to revise some of my evolution and I just thought through the whole thing and thought I didn't know any of this! I have 5 days to learn an entire module. Sarah, my house mate came home from work and I was a right state, I didn't want to go to church I wanted to sit and crank out a couple of thousand words of revision notes and crashed around midnight before waking up to drag myself to my lecture, but as usual God intervened. The internet completely crashed making me incapable of doing revision, this along with Sarah telling me that what I really needed was prayer I think was the kick I needed! Back to point, I think church was the only thing that was going to calm me down tonight, and I could just feel God telling me to calm down and although this is hugeeeee for me, nothing is too big for him, and I think I realise that now. A quote I once heard was 'We have a lot to do today, so I'm going to have to pray for 3 hours instead of the usual 2' (or something like that) and I think if I have this kind of philosophy then I'm going to have a much better chance of aceing these exams and making it into my second year. I would also just love to have that much dedication, definitely a prayer point! I need to trust in God, because when you trust in God, stuff happens.
Challenge Accepted!
XOX
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