Today I had my first presentation at uni and I found the experience to be both intriguing and frustrating simultaneously. Firstly, it can be so humiliating standing up there, when your public speaking skill suck as much as mine do, like wanting to be able to put your point across, I have a very slight speech impediment which in ordinary situations I'm okay, but that mixed with nerves basically caused a stutter which really sucked. It's a little bit worrying, not that I'm worried I won't pass the module (I need 10% in the presentation) but just that this method on basically being assessed on confidence and how loud you can shout, being weighted the same as countless hours of revision for an exam. I found myself so ridiculously stressed about it and not actually worrying about the content which seems like unnecessary pressure in exam season. Still I know that I should respect authority, and I hope that now I've done this I'll be better next time. It just seems like a recurrent cycle of nerves fuelling my lisp which worrying about fuels further anxiety.
On a better note, I have my first exam tomorrow, and not only is it the one I want so desperately to get out of the way because its 100%, but finally I'm actually feeling okay about it
Now, it's almost 2AM and I'm still wide awake, I can hear my clock ticking and I know that I need to drift off, but it's not happening, so looks like I'm consuming an unholy amount of Red Bull tomorrow to carry me through
11 hours to go.
XOX
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