Normal?

So today marks 22 years since the birth of my sister, but instead of making plans and buying gifts I'm having a completely normal day, I'm going to work followed by church. Uneventful? certainly. But to me this is huge. This will be the first year in the last 6 years that I haven't sat and wallowed in self pity for the whole day, It will also be the first year I'm not in Reading. And whilst it's so easy to feel totally alone, it's quite nice having the anonymity. I'm not going to be surrounded by people who know what today is, so people aren't going to come up to me and ask how I'm doing or if I'm upset. As nice as it is, I think I might cry if they did so, and I'm trying to be as normal as possible.
This weeks been so hard, it's been a frustrating week anyway. My car has a problem with its fan that has re-occurred, following this the fitting for my windscreen wiper snapped causing it to displace whilst I was driving. Then 2 days ago I go around the corner to find the wing mirror dangling down beside my car. So when I think this is more than enough for me to handle, I walk out to go to work yesterday evening to find my wheel arch scratched and dented from where someone had hit it whilst it was parked. This led to me crying in the car, something I haven't done for a long time. But it wasn't just the car. I try to be so strong, because it's not productive to anyone else if I fall apart, and I guess I expect it to be easier now it's been so long and so much has happened since, but it's not always easy, and this time of year it's so much harder to pretend.

Anyway, Happy 22nd Birthday Jenny :)

XOX