New Year and New Beginnings - Reflections on a Not-so Terrible Year

I'm procrastinating from my cell pathology coursework by writing a blog, but seriously I wanted to round off this year. I've gone through the last couple of months thinking this is one of the worst years I've had so far, so in that instance, I'm going to be really glad to see the back of it. But whilst I'm being reflective, this year has bought so much and I've learnt so much from it. Firstly this year has bought the most changes since the year I left home and moved to Brighton, and although I've been so focused on the bad, this year has also given me some absolutely amazing experiences. The major one of these is travelling to the other side of the world entirely alone. I went to Thailand, a truly beautiful country, and definitely one of my favourite places, and working in a hospital, we'll I couldn't have done anything better. I saw surgery, travelled around, learnt about another culture. If it could change anything about the experience the only. Thing I could think of is that I would go for longer. I also went to Spain, and instead of just sun soaking, I got to interact with locals (in Spanish of course!) learn about the local area, and see it as more than just a place with a beach and heat, and actually appreciate how great Spanish culture is. 

This year is also the year that I really got to know myself and what I wanted out of life. Travelling bought ith it a lot of self discovery and widening by understanding of what I could do, as well as giving me a more realistic perspective of what I've got imprinted into me what I already wanted to do. But most of this actually came from realising what I don't want as well. I'm not content with just coasting through life and doing exactly what's expected of me, I want something extraordinary. I started this year volunteering in a project for homeless people, and this in itself was absolutely amazing. I then built on this with more volunteering experiences, working in a family centre and as a first aider for one of the most influential organisations in the world. With this I get to work with different people, experience scenarios that I couldn't have imagined, and spend my Saturday nights doing something other than vegetating in front of the television. I wouldn't have it any othe way. Anything I write down couldn't accurately describe the value of volunteering, therefore if you don't do it already, I'd encourage you to try! I ran 10 miles for charity back in October too, which was absolutely fantastic. If you know me, you'd know I'm not the most active person, therefore this was a massive achievement for me just to finish it, as well as raising over my target for the British Heart Foundation, an absolutely amazing charity. 

This year is the first year I've properly felt like an adult, my decisions (on the most part) have been much more responsible. I've also learnt that sometimes it's okay, and completely necessary to put myself first. I've also learnt it's important to take what you want out of life, there's absolutely no value in sitting on the sidelines, and I haven't regretted any of the decisions I made, to do something maybe slightly insane! (Particular reference to bungee jumping in Thailand!) I've gained so many amazing memories, things that I'll always treasure. 

In terms of new experiences, I applied for medicine this year. This is something I've been planning (and dreading!) for a long time, and I'm really excited I'm actually doing it, even if I don't get in, I'm going to learn so much from this experience, and in that scenario, I'll be bringing in next year in the same situation, hopefully whilst also studying for a masters degree, living in some city somewhere, of which I don't even know where it is yet.

This year has also been great in terms of friendships, not only have I met some amazing people and made some amazing new friends, I've also been able to deepen my friendships with some of the people I was already friends with. I've really learnt this year to appreciate the people around me and I feel really content in this aspect of my life, because I know whatever happens, they have my back. I'm really lucky to have all of them. 

So what does 2014 bring?

I'm starting 2014 in a great position, I live in what is the most beautiful city in the country, studying for a degree in a subject I'm passionate about. I'm starting this year single, for the first time really since 2007, but I'm surrounded by absolutely amazing people, so I'm not at all feeling lonely. I have a job, which allows me to talk to people and get money for it, and I'm still volunteering, meaning I get to continue building on these amazing experiences. This year I'll find out if I get into medicine, and graduate as a biomedical scientist. This year I'm going to move to a new city and gain new experiences, meet so many new people. I want to travel more this year, with going to Dublin at Easter, going away this summer seems a likely possibilty too. I'd like to finally get to Germany this year, visit the Christmas markets in Berlin (drink lots of jäger :D). I want to visit Iceland, see the northern lights, I wouldn't mind visiting Asia again either. I also want to sit on a beach somewhere abroad (pebbles in Brighton are great, but not quite the same thing!). I know that I probably won't do all of this, but I like the ability to dream about it. I'll also be doing the nuts challenge in March, an army style assault course, so will be training for this! 

Last year I made a list of resolutions to keep to, I'm not going to do the same this year because in reality I just have one:

This year I'm going to be happy.

(And maybe get fitter, take more photos and better control of my finances etc. :D)

I hope you all have a fantastic 2014, and bring 2013 out with a (metaphorical) bang!

XOX

Getting Back to Basics for a Slightly Unusual Christmas

Anyone who's seen me in the last few weeks will know exactly how much I've been dreading Christmas this year. I didn't decorate the house, give out cards, I bought all of my gifts horrendously last minute, I didn't feel at all festive and all that Christmas songs managed to achieve was making me cry, which isn't the greatest reaction when they're played on loop from a speaker above your head at work. This year is the first Christmas in 5 years that I've been single, and with the two before that being so upsetting (I barely even remember 2006), this one was different to any I've ever experienced. 

Firstly what I realised is that over the last 5 years, whilst focusing all of my energy into a relationship, I missed out on all of the things that my family do, that have always made Christmas so great. My mum was really excited, definitely more so than me, and she woke me up at 8.30. Then we opened presents. We always wait and open them all together, each doing a present at a time. My mums partners sister always gets someone something that's so obscure we can't work out what it is, without fail every year, which adds to the entertainment. There's also always the relative who makes a present almost unopenable by use of copious amounts of Sellotape. Then the cooking starts, and of course the drinking (something I couldn't partake in this year due to driving!). Paul always tries to cook something obscure with varying degrees of success, and this year didn't disappoint with a sausagemeat and stuffing concoction wrapped in bacon which was actually pretty good. We usually have some relatives stop by. It's so nice to see people who you don't see regularly and just catch up on their lives, how things are going. It makes the family feel closer, something that my family in particular is bad at. Mid morning we usually collect my grandmother, she's in her eighties now and in a nursing home, she also has an almost child-like persona, of which an element of which is that she gets really excited about Christmas. Every year without fail she'll come through the door and proclaim she's home, which is lovely. Then, with the mandatory cup if tea in hand, she'll demand her presents, and it's so nice to see how excited she gets. Then we all have dinner together, eat turkey and pull crackers. My nan always insists on watching the queen at 3, and I think this was the first year that she actually managed to stay awake for it. Then we take her back, and she'll join the others, who have returned or didn't get to spend Christmas with their families this year, and we head home and spend a chilled evening watching Christmas TV. 

This year I didn't spend my Christmas afternoon with a boyfriend, but I have so many other memories that I will cherish. Watching toy story with my parents, making me incredibly nostalgic for my childhood, sitting in front if the wood-burning fire, holding my 81 year old grandmothers hand whilst she tells me she loves me, joking about needing L plates whilst crashing a wheelchair, attempting to get said wheelchair into a small hatchback, with little success, laughing in the kitchen about cooking techniques and my hidden chocolate. This year also bought something new, not wanting to spend Christmas dwelling over the past, I drove to Wales, spending two and a half hours alone in the car, just so I could spend a few hours with two of the most special little men in my life. They caught me when I pulled up and ran to the car, immediately begin searching for presents, and help me into the house. We opened presents together, and they began fighting the cuddly smurfs I got them. I got to read them a story, of which I laughed far too much at for a children's book! And put them to bed. However this ended abruptly. Christmas 2013 will now always be the year that Ben fell out of his bunk bed and broke his wrist. But what is Christmas without a little bit of drama? 

This year I'm feeling incredibly thankful for what I have, and not dwelling over what I don't have anymore. If I'd known this beforehand, I would have probably been excited!

Happy Christmas! 

XOX